it hurts more in the daytime
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
