You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
