I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
