My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
