It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
