I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Randomize