I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
