I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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