Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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