Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
