What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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