who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
