R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize