so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
