On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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