My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
