I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize