bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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