I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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