Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
