lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
