Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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