She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
