whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
