What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
