Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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