I think my fart just growled at me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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