Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize