there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
