he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
