I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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