Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
