I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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