So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize