Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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