i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
