break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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