I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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