i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
