In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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