It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
