Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
