You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
