it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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