Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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