Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bring me that man meat
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
