3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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