omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize