How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize