I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
