Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish you could order shots online.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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