I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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