Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
