I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
