Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
