Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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