used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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