i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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