What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
