Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
