Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
