; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
