this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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