remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize