hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
