I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
