U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
