I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize